Working mother of three daily angst

Every day for 10 years I’ve felt limited. Three children and a working round the clock husband make me limited when

- the team at the office sets after work activities as highly prioritized to reach a great spirit and common goals.
- some daily yoga and/or a jog is the only way to get some energy.
- I’m longing for crafting – knitting, crocheting, painting, sewing.
- my messy home and garden gives me the rashes.
- there are meetings all day and I’m home with sick kids 3 weeks out of 4.
- it’s Sunday brunch time and it would be wonderful but not with a 3 year old.
- the dinner preferably should be made out of raw food.
- It would be wonderful to host a party for all old friends.
- It would be wonderful to host a party for all new friends.

But most of all it’s not the kids that limit my dreams of life - it’s working that does. I’d love my kids to grow up with some of the experiences I had as a kid. Most of all I’d love them to spend the ten weeks of summer holidays at the country house, and I’ve failed completely. We work. The kids spend most of their holidays at the daycare in school.

So I’ve tried to limit the level of responsibility at my job position, I’ve stopped my career for some time, until the kids grow older. So far this has only resulted in even less benefits - less weeks of vacations, less flexibility in time, more angst by not being able to participate either at work as much as required, nor with the kids as much as I’d like. I don’t know how to get any step closer to satisfaction.